Luther Seminary "Clowning Around"
Above: Farty Marty the Crazy Reformer poses outside of the OCC.
In his first big move as president elect, Dr. Richard Bliese is thinking missionally. Leg warmers, big hair, and taper jeans aren't the only things making a comeback from the eighties. In a "Christ Within Culture" kind of move, at the urging of President-Elect Bliese, Luther Seminary is giving a nod to society's recent turn back to the eighties by offering a clowning ministry concentration.
Last week, the three finalists for faculty clown were invited to campus for public presentations. The three finalists included Farty Marty the Crazy Reformer, Augie the Hippo, and Simple Simon the Silly Ascetic. Farty Marty started his presentation off with a bang by placing his signature whoopee cushion on the chairs of Luther Seminary’s “higher-ups.” When President Tiede and President-Elect Bliese sat down on their chairs at the beginning of the presentation, sounds of bodily gas erupted from their seats. The students all held their breath waiting for the reaction. There was a collective sigh of relief when President-Elect Bliese just chuckled. President Teide addressed the crowd: "You all should know I have a sense of humor. What about that April Fools prank? Let's get on with this." Farty Marty dazzled the crowd with his balloon miters and scepters, handing them out to both shun papal authority and emphasize the priesthood of all believers. Farty Marty ended the presentation with a sing along of Christian lyrics to popular “bar hymns” including these wonderful lyrics:
"I
like big faith and I cannot lie./You other brothers can't deny./
When a sinner walks in with an itty-bitty faith/ I splash water on her face/She
gets sprung from death to life.”
Also popular was:
"We sure did start some sinning/we've been always burning since the world's been turning/ "We sure did start some sinning/but Jesus came not just for the fame.”
Farty Marty was definitely the crowd favorite, despite his unorthodox behavior. The next faculty clown hopeful was Augie the Hippo. Augie received some early criticism, with some claiming that Augie was being considered only because he had friends in high places. (Augie was under the tutelage of famed ecclesiclown Ambrosia - I'm More Than A Salad.) However, once Augie began his presentation, it was clear that he had earned his place among faculty hopefuls. He began with, "So how about those Manichaeans, huh?" And the crowd favorite, "Take my mom Monica...please." He wowed the crowd at the end by smashing pears, his famous fruit, with a sledgehammer “Gallagher-style.”
Simple Simon the Silly Ascetic was unconventional to say the least. In the clowning style of mime, Simple Simon climbed on top of the altar in the Chapel of the Incarnation, and is to this day still there stuck in that damn box. How he did it, or why he did it, no one knows. He might get the job just because he won't come down.
When reached for comment on the new program last Tuesday, Dr. Bliese released this statement:
"Our focus is to constantly improve our ‘sending’ capacity. We are preparing leaders for true discipleship and their apostolic calls within a world that is rapidly changing. Therefore, we want to remain both faithful to our Lord and be on the cutting edge of theological education and ministry. Wocka, wocka!"
While some on the faculty are praising the new concentration, others are not as happy. Dr. Nestingen stated that he thought he was already the faculty clown. Rumor has that Dr. Nestingen and Dr. Paulson are working on an Abbott and Costello “Who's on First” type of routine in protest of the new program.